Because of the unaccountable spirit of the troops 
oh we were marched as we were never marched before 
and flanked them off from home. Stupid Meade 
was after them, head on to tail, but we convinced 
him, finally, to flank, flank, cut off their head. 
He finally understood, the idiot, and got a fort 
named after him, for wisdom. He probably thought 
Lee would conquer Washington from Appomattox 
if he, Meade, should march his infantry behind 
him, Lee. Ah well, the unaccountable spirit of the troops 
triumphed, Meade got his fort, Grant got his presidency, 
Sherman got his motto, what was it? War is heck?, Lee got a military school 
for the education of young Southern gentlemen, and the Union 
Army was taken over by Southern noncommissioned officers 
in the wars against the Indians to the west. I know all 
about this, I know who won, I served under them 
for three hundred and fifty years in World War II, 
just long enough not to be called a rookie but a veteran, 
and realized the rank and order of my enemies: 
first, the West Point officers; second, the red-neck sergeants; 
third, the Nazis and perhaps the Japanese. I won 
all of these wars as a private soldier, for a while, 
and am happy to have done so: without me 
Hitler and Hirohito would he ruling the world 
instead of America and Russia, but I still will not 
drive through Georgia with New York license plates.