I camped one night in an empty hut on the side of a lonely hill.
I didn?t go much on empty huts, but the night was awful chill.
So I boiled me billy and had me tea and seen that the door was shut.
Then I went to bed in am empty bunk by the side of the old slab shed.

It must have been about twelve o?clock ? I was feeling cosy and warm ?
When at the foot of me bunk I sees a horrible ghostly form
It seemed in shape to be half an ape with a head like a chimpanzee
But wot the hell was it doin there, and wot did it want with me?

You may say if you please that I had DTs or call me a crimson liar,
But I wish you had seen it as plain as me, with it?s eyes like coals of fire.
Then it gave a moan and a horrible groan that curdled me blood with fear,
And `There?s only the two of us here,? it ses. `There?s only the two of us here!?

I kept one eye on the old hut door and one on the awful brute;
I only wanted to dress meself and get to the door and scoot.
But I couldn?t find where I?d left me boots so I hadn?t a chance to clear
And, `There?s only the two of us here,? it moans. `There?s only the two of us here!?
 

I hadn?t a thing to defend meself, not even a stick or stone,
And `There?s only the two of here!? It ses again with a horrible groan.
I thought I?d better make some reply, though I reckoned me end was near,
`By the Holy Smoke, when I find me boots, there?ll be only one of us here.?
 

I get me hands on me number tens and out through the door I scoots,
And I lit the whole of the ridges up with the sparks from me blucher boots.
So I?ve never slept in a hut since then, and I tremble and shake with fear
When I think of the horrible form wot moaned, `There?s only the two of us here!?