As I go and shop, sir! 
If a car I stop, sir! 
 Where you chance to sit, 
And you want to read, sir! 
Never mind or heed, sir! 
 I?ll not care a bit.

For it?s now aesthetic
To be quite athletic.
 That?s our fad, you know.
I can hold the strap, sir! 
And keep off your lap, sir! 
 As we jolting go.

If you read on blindly, 
I shall take it kindly, 
 All the car?s not mine.
But, if you sit and stare, sir! 
At my eyes and hair, sir! 
 I must draw the line.

If the stare is meant, sir! 
For a compliment, sir! 
 As we jog through town, 
Allow me to suggest, sir! 
A woman oft looks best, sir! 
 When she?s sitting down.