Here you will find the Long Poem The Chamber of Faith of poet James Brunton Stephens
There's a room in my soul that has long been closed; Many and many a year has passed Since I stood at the door and looked my last On the things within, all seemly disposed In the curtained obscurity, nevermore To be lit of the sun through window or door;? Looked my last with a sense of crime, On the smooth white bed where my dead had lain, At the cross I had left on the counterpane, Having kissed it twice and a long third time Ere I laid it down where the head had been, With a rose for the breast, and a lily between; At her altar-table, where, side by side, Lay her Bible, her Hymnal, her Book of Prayer; At her silent harp, at her hallowed chair, Where, ever at morning and eventide, With her hand on my head, and my head on her knee, I had knelt, that her blessing might rest on me; At saint and angel on wall and screen, Painted, and carven, and silken wrought, At flower and bird, by her hand and thought Moulded to meanings of things unseen; At the sombre recess where, dimly descried, Hung the shadowy form of the Crucified. Looked my last with a sense of crime, As one who, free of intent to slay, Hath yet unwitting made wide the way For death to enter before his time; For, had I not strayed from her sheltering side, Peradventure my mother had not died. For this was the Chamber of Faith, my Mother, Faith that was Mother, and Sister, and Wife, Joy of my joy, and life of my life, Fair as none else was fair, loved as no other, Mother to nourish me, Sister to cheer, Wife to be dearest of all held dear. And all of her now was the void she had left, And a stillness that even a sigh had profaned? Gone, with her mysteries unexplained, And all her tokens of purport reft, Save the reproach I seemed to trace In the dumb appeal of each angel face. So I closed the door and departed?alone: And all these years I have dwelt aloof, In a turret chamber over the roof, With undarkened outlook on all things known, On horizons that ever enlarge and withdraw, On the boundless realms of immutable law. Bereft of Faith, but redeemed from fear, With enfranchised vision, with reason free From the bondage of ancient authority, I say to myself it is good to be here, High o'er all vain imaginings, And face to face with the truth of things. But at times, in the night, to the drowsing sense The sound of a harp played long ago Floats faintly up from a room below, The old music of love and reverence, And I wake, and, behold, all unaware, I have left my bed, and am kneeling in prayer. It is thus to-night, and with heart oppressed By the heavy hand of the truth of things, I am fain of the old imaginings, And a hope arises within my breast, That beyond the beyond and above the above There yet may be things that I know not of. I will go down to the Chamber of Faith; Perchance in her symbols I yet may find Some meaning missed, some drift undivined, Some clue to a refuge this side of death, Where Reason and Faith, where Man and Child, Where Law and Love may be reconciled. * * * * * * * * * * I stand in her precincts, alien, estranged, A waking man in a place of dreams. How ghostly the room in the lamplight seems! Yet all is familiar, all is unchanged; All that was fair, still fair to see, Save the flowers, which have withered?for these were of me. Frescoed seraph and carven saint Gaze on me still with their wistful appeal, Oh, Heavenly Ministries, would I could feel Some thrill of response however faint, Some touch, some grace of the olden days That would quicken my heart to prayer and praise! Lo, for a moment, I burn to accost Your Lord of Love in the old sweet way; I seize the harp and begin to play, But the chords are loose and the key is lost, And the sudden dissonance shatters the mood Wherein the unseen is the understood? Shatters the mood and arrests the thought, The fluttering thought that essayed to soar To the region where seraph and saint adore, To the sphere where the wonders of Faith are wrought, And her symbols decline to pigment and stone As I lapse again to the seen and known. Wherefore, then, should I linger here? What is it I seek to understand? I open her Scriptures with random hand, And I chance on the words of the holy Seer Which one of old in his chariot read, ?He was led as a sheep to the slaughter is led.? And I turn to the Christ. Though my lamp grows dim, I can see the tortured arms outspread, The broken body and drooping head, And I would I could weep as I wept for Him, And I cry as I bend the unwonted knee, Quicken me Jesu! Quicken me! Thou in whom God and man are met? (If indeed the twain in one can meet)? Q