First time I dared propose,
 A callow lad was I;
I donned my Sunday clothes,
 I wore my Old School Tie.
Awaiting me Louise
 Was dolled to beat the band,
So going on my knees
 I begged her hand.

Oh yes, she gave me her hand,--
 A box upon the ear;
I could not understand,
 I blinked away a tear.
Then scornfully she said:
 'Next time you kneel before
A maid, young man don't spread
 Your hankey on the floor.'

So next time I proposed,
 Thinks I, I'll treat 'em rough.
Her name was Lily Rose,
 I gave her he-man stuff.
I yanked her on my knee,
 And as her ear I bit,
To my amazement she
 Seemed to like it.

The old cave-men knew best;
 Grab girlies by the hair,
And though they may protest
 Drag them into your lair.
So young men seeking mates,
 Take my tip, if rejected:
A modern maid just hates
 To be respected.