The Artist and his Luckless Wife 
 They lead a horrid haunted life, 
 Surrounded by the things he's made 
 That are not wanted by the trade. 

 The world is very fair to see; 
 The Artist will not let it be; 
 He fiddles with the works of God, 
 And makes them look uncommon odd. 

 The Artist is an awful man, 
 He does not do the things he can; 
 He does the things he cannot do, 
 And we attend the private view. 

 The Artist uses honest paint 
 To represent things as they ain't, 
 He then asks money for the time 
 It took to perpetrate the crime.