DEAR COSMOPOLITAN,?I know 
I should address you a Rondeau, 
Or else announce what I ?ve to say 
At least en Ballade fratriseé 
But No: for once I leave Gymnasticks, 
And take to simple Hudibrasticks, 
Why should I choose another Way, 
When this was good enough for GAY? 
 
 You love, my FRIEND, with me I think, 
That Age of Lustre and of Link; 
Of Chelsea China and long ?s?es, 
Of Bag-wigs and of flowered Dresses; 
That Age of Folly and of Cards, 
Of Hackney Chairs and Hackney Bards; 
?No H-LTS, no K-G-N P-LS were then 
Dispensing Competence to Men; 
The gentle Trade was left to Churls, 
Your frowsy TONSONS and your CURLLS; 
Mere Wolves in Ambush to attack 
The AUTHOR in a Sheep-skin Back; 
Then SAVAGE and his Brother-Sinners 
In Porridge Island div?d for Dinners; 
Or doz?d on Covent Garden Bulks, 
And liken?d Letters to the Hulks;? 
You know that by-gone Time, I say,
That aimless easy-moral?d Day, 
When rosy Morn found MADAM still 
Wrangling at Ombre or Quadrille, 
When good SIR JOHN reel?d Home to Bed, 
From Pontack?s or the Shakespeare's?s Head;
When TRIP convey?d his Master?s Cloaths, 
And took his Titles and his Oaths; 
While BETTY, in a cast Brocade, 
Ogled MY LORD at Masquerade; 
When GARRICK play?d the guilty Richard,
Or mouth?d Macbeth with Mrs. PRITCHARD; 
When FOOTE grimaced his snarling Wit; 
When CHURCHILL bullied in the Pit; 
When the CUZZONI sang? 
 But there! 
The further Catalogue I spare, 
Having no Purpose to eclipse 
That tedious Tale of HOMER?S Ships;? 
This is the MAN that drew it all 
From Pannier Alley to the Mall,
Then turn?d and drew it once again 
From Bird-Cage-Walk to Lewknor?s Lane;? 
Its Rakes and Fools, its Rogues and Sots; 
Its brawling Quacks, its starveling Scots; 
Its Ups and Downs, its Rags and Garters,
Its HENLEYS, LOVATS, MALCOLMS, CHARTRES, 
Its Splendor, Squalor, Shame, Disease; 
Its quicquid agunt Homines;? 
Nor yet omitted to pourtray 
Furens quid possit Foemina;? 
In short, held up to ev?ry Class 
NATURE?S unflatt?ring looking-Glass; 
And, from his Canvas, spoke to All 
The Message of a JUVENAL. 
 
 Take Him. His Merits most aver:
His weak Point is?his Chronicler!