I

In summer when the days are hot 
The subway is delayed a lot; 
In winter, quite the selfsame thing; 
In autumn also, and in spring.

And does it not seem strange to you 
That transportation is askew 
In this--I pray, restrain your mirth!-- 
In this, the Greatest Town on Earth?

II

All night long and every night 
The neighbors dance for my delight; 
I hear the people dance and sing 
Like practically anything.

Women and men and girls and boys, 
All making curious kinds of noise 
And dancing in so weird a way, 
I never saw the like by day.

So loud a show was never heard 
As that which yesternight occurred: 
They danced and sang, as I have said, 
As I lay wakeful in my bed.

They shout and cry and yell and laugh 
And play upon the phonograph; 
And endlessly I count the sheep, 
Endeavouring to fall asleep.

III

It is very nice to think 
This town is full of meat and drink; 
That is, I'd think it very nice 
If my pappa but had the price.

IV

This town is so full of a number of folks, 
I'm sure there will always be matter for jokes.