Here you will find the Poem Lines in Reply to the Beautiful Poet Who Welcomed News of McGonagall's Departure from Dundee of poet Max Plowman
Dear Johnny, I return my thanks to you; But more than thanks is your due For publishing the scurrilous poetry about me Leaving the Ancient City of Dundee. The rhymster says, we'll weary for your schauchlin' form; But if I'm not mistaken I've seen bonnier than his in a field of corn; And, as I venture to say and really suppose, His form seen in a cornfield would frighten the crows. But, dear Johnny, as you said, he's just a lampoon, And as ugly and as ignorant as a wild baboon; And, as far as I can judge or think, He is a vendor of strong drink. He says my nose would make a peasemeal warrior weep; But I've seen a much bonnier sweep, And a more manly and wiser man Than he is by far, deny it who can! And, in conclusion, I'd have him to beware, And never again to interfere with a poet's hair, Because Christ the Saviour wore long hair, And many more good men, I do declare. Therefore I laugh at such bosh that appears in print. So I hope from me you will take the hint, And never publish such bosh of poetry again, Or else you'll get the famous Weekly News a bad name.