Now, listen to me, folks... 
Hear what I say. 
You got to eat oysters everyday 
They'll put your love life back on track 
They're nature's own aphrodisiac. 

Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true 
What a little oyster can do for you. 
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun 
Here's some things them oysters done... 

They made Jim Beam 
They made Allen Thick 
They made Jonathan Swift 
And they made Gracie Slick 
They made Victor Mature 
And they made Tom Petty 
They started Willie Waylon 
And they got Helen Reddy. 
They made Tom Cruise 
They made Oscar Wilde 
They gave Gary Hart 
But they gave Gomer Piles 
They made William Hurt 
They made Lucille Ball 
They made Wilson Picket 
And that ain't all. 

Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true 
What a little oyster can do for you. 
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun 
Here's some more them oysters done. 

They made Stevie Wonder 
And they made old John Wayne 
They made Saul Bellow 
And caused Thomas Paine 
Turned Clint Black 
And turned Barry White 
Made Doris' Day 
And Gladys' Knight. 
They gave Bob Hope 
They gave Percy Faith 
They made Marvin Gaye 
But they made George Straight 
They made Bobby's Short 
And Lester's Flatt 
And hey... they even did more than that. 

Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true 
What a little oyster can do for you. 
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun 
Here's some more them oysters done. 

They got George Bush 
They made Bozo a Clown 
They got Bobby Bare 
And made Ezra Pound 
They made Gallo Wine 
They made Merle Haggart 
They Made Andy Devine 
They made Jimmy Swagger 
They made Rich Little 
And made Hughie Long 
They made BB King 
And they made Neil's Armstrong 
And if you ask my wife, 
She'll tell you quite gaily 
Best of all they made old Pat Daily. 

Ohh, ohhh... yes it's true 
What a little oyster can do for you. 
Ohh, ohhh... ain't it fun 
That's all about oysters 
Now we're done.