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Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).)
Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906), repr. In Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, vol. 7 (1911).)
Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906), repr. In Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, vol. 7 (1911).)
Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).)
Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906), repr. In Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, vol. 7 (1911).)
Education. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).)
Cynic. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906), repr. In Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, vol. 7 (1911). This collection was given the title The Cynic's Word Book for its original 1906 publication, though Bierce's definitions first appeared in newspapers under the more famous name, The Devil's Dictionary, the title of the enlarged 1911 edition.)
Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906), repr. In Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, vol. 7 (1911).)
Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).)
Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire. (Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).)
